Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you would pick up someone in the library
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
