1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ketchup is God's man juice
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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