if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
