At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
