I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
