just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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