i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize