I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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