why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
