I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
