i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
