so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
there is glitter all over my balls
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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