She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
