We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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