i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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