Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't think brook has ever known best
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
