Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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