no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
