Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize