sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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