im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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