I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How naked do you want me to be?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
