I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
