I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
