Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
