i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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