All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
