Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
