You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will pee on everything he values.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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