I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
