His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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