nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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