honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
