And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
ttyl tear gas
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
