I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
