apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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