he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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