omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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