She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
