We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
