After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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