its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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