My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
