Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
