Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my sisters under your porch take her home
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
