I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
