There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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