But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
