O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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