Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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