Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
