He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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