I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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