puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
