Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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