he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
