I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
