Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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