Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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